well,... just thinking aloud... I guess I will not have ever have a boyfriend or that special person in my life. Why, cos I know and it's gut instinct, and maybe, I say maybe I could be wrong, but I know i won't. I have too much baggage with me and anyone who thinks will be able to live with me is mighty wrong. I have issues that cannot be resolved, and so I know.

Sometimes it's hard to understand, why me but then I know why. I will not say it but I know.... life has been tough for me and I am glad that I have the courage and strength by the grace of Allah, and I am thankful to Him for giving me small joys in life, but then there are times I wish I wasn't gay, but then if I wasn't what would I be and would I be able to see the world differently and appreciate what I see now, then I would have been different...? I guess I will never know the answer or never be able to feel love that I am longing for.

Although we say no regrets, there is always a hint of some regret of not having experienced any love, hugging or cuddle by that special someone whom you love or care for.
C ' est la Vie eh?

Nico leaviing for San' sisco

Bon Voyage

Seems like a hard task but sometimes we have yet again to say good bye and realize that we have a friend in our midst who has to leave and go forth in his adventures in and find his bearings in life.

Nico whom I met 6 months ago or so, made a huge impact in my life and I could relate to him easily as I would have to my best friend, brother, close male friend, whatever you want to call that. He made a huge difference to my life and although he is only 24, seems like an age when you are eager and anxious, he enriched it like a wise man who has lived through time and has seen and experienced so many things in life and has different stories to say to his grandsons ... and thats how I felt with Nico. and now he too, like all my friends has left to go back to America and I do not know when he will be back , but I have a feeling he will....
As much he has enriched my life and others lives here in town, I am sure he has learnt a lot from us as much. I remember the time he tells me about his Aunts and Uncles and his grandfather who was a wonderful person and how much he feels and emotional he gets when is telling me about them and how he sheds a tear for his grandpappy, so much so that I realize that his story is my story and his emotions are mine cause I can relate to him as he does to us.

Never afraid to speak and know and and learn and understand, how we all are, thats Nico and he is ready to take on med school as soon as he arrives back home, and never ceases to learn and his craving for knowledge is a so much that it puts me to shame, but never the less, I am proud to call you my friend and I am happy that these last 6 months, you made our lives so rich and made me understand whats valuable and what values we need to have to understand each other and what is a good human being. Moreover you considered mine as your own and as much I am happy to you call you my younger brother, I feel I have learnt a lot from you as I would have from an elder brother.

Thank you for giving as you always give, that is love and understanding values in life.
Thank you Nico.....

To Nico, Salud.......