well,... just thinking aloud... I guess I will not have ever have a boyfriend or that special person in my life. Why, cos I know and it's gut instinct, and maybe, I say maybe I could be wrong, but I know i won't. I have too much baggage with me and anyone who thinks will be able to live with me is mighty wrong. I have issues that cannot be resolved, and so I know.

Sometimes it's hard to understand, why me but then I know why. I will not say it but I know.... life has been tough for me and I am glad that I have the courage and strength by the grace of Allah, and I am thankful to Him for giving me small joys in life, but then there are times I wish I wasn't gay, but then if I wasn't what would I be and would I be able to see the world differently and appreciate what I see now, then I would have been different...? I guess I will never know the answer or never be able to feel love that I am longing for.

Although we say no regrets, there is always a hint of some regret of not having experienced any love, hugging or cuddle by that special someone whom you love or care for.
C ' est la Vie eh?