Emotions

I was watching a movie the other day and it was a love story of sorts and suddenly I realized that I have forgotten how to love a loved one. I mean I was watching a movie but those emotions didn't stir anything in me and i was left wondering why?
I know that earlier this year when I decided that my priority would be my sister and her education and love and all that baggage that comes with it would be left on the side and not be concentrated on, I didn't know that I would shut myself off from loving... loving a lover that is and not a family love, like you love a sibling or a parent.
And suddenly I gather that I don't feel anything at all.... HA!! I know it's crazy but I feel like I can shut things out of my life if I want to, by just believing and concentrating hard enough that I do not want it or don't want to do a particular thing or vice versa....

On the other hand is it healthy for me to do that by cutting of emotions that make us all human and strong and because of those emotions we can overcome certain barriers in life and move on or suppress them and do crazy things???

At the moment, I am getting ready to embark on our journey to Zainab's destination for her college... I dread traveling and it reminds me of the time when I went with my brother to Arusha and it was a very long journey, I know I could fly but then it's twice expensive and at the moment I am trying to curb all the expenses and trying to save money.

Educating Zainab

well....time for an update, I gather I have been acting like my other blogging friends who write only once a month and they do, I, it seems have not blogged for more then a month and there is an excuse, laziness and procrastination.
Apparently I have been working on where to send my sister Zainab... she just finished her 'O' levels at the Iringa International School and so she wanted to do nursing and child care but just looking at the journals and medical books that she has to read and attend classes and make her own notes just makes her cringe, so she has a chance to do something different and I will be dropping her off at an academy where she can hone her art of making self beauty and all that stuff, and then she can decide what she wants, the other option is doing a diploma and a degree in art which she loves so all in all it is her choice and also she wants to do something with fashion, designing/management and business/consultancy... whatever the package is or comes with.

Tough as it may seem for me, my baby sister has grown up and ready to leave home. I guess she would have wasted her time if I had asked her to stay at home for a year, let her see the world and know how it is to stand on her own two feet.

By the way, we have a new kitten/cat, the last one got nicked by people who move up and down the alley which is a freeway for people using the bathroom at the end of the house...well outside the house. I mean customers and locals who have shops nearby. Why one couldn't ask is still a mystery to me, and why steal in the first place... a kitten for God's sake????
Some people will do anything HUH!!!!

Happenings

By reading people's and friends blogs, I have just realised how much I miss blogging and writing about what I feel. This weekend I am taking Jenny to Dar es Salaam and introduce her to her special friend whom she met online and they have been friends for quiet sometime, and this is a litmus test for me to see how I react to this guy being friends with my lil kid sister, Apart from that its a small getaway for me before the month of celebrations starts all over again.... so many things to in so less a time.... there are a lot of things that I would like to achieve in life but I guess we all are not so successful as we want to be and though we aspire to be something and do something in life, there are always drawbacks which make not be able to go forward in life

Lately I have been so busy and am working hard and keeping my mind off on the one thing that I really like and want. I guess I don't have much time for that these days that is loving and wanting a companion, which is not on my top of the 'want' list at the moment......

Listening to Private dancer/ Tina Turner and wondering what we all do... do we all want money or do we strive for that perfect love ... hard to understand and know, what I exactly want at this point in my life. I gather my priorities are getting Jenny educated and settled in life.

Man I have been so lazy and out of touch lately... I hope to update my blog soon... Hugs folks

Crushes!!!

Honestly can I say something that will offend you guys...in a way that will make you laugh also...
Why do I have to have a CRUSH on everyday people, and it happens all the time, no matter where I go or where I am, if I look at any given direction and if I find that guy handsome, I already have a crush on him.
I still don't understand why do I need to have this fixation, and at times it also drives me crazy.
Has anybody gone through a similar thing?
Let me know!!!

Saying Bon Voyage!

Like many friendships, relationships, and such at times have to end, or goodbyes are said or there is a parting of some sorts, I don't mean in ending totally but by separating or by leaving or moving to different places and such.
My good friend Natasha and her fiancé Paul who is a musician, are going away, meaning moving to to Australia, where Natasha resides and is living. She was here for her research and now she and her partner are going away for a new life, but that does not mean I will not hear from them or be in touch, It's just that at times we say good bye and we don't really mean it cos we actually don't want them to go.
Goodbyes and separation of sorts are hard for me and I am one person who, when likes a person, finds it hard to emotionally detach when they leave, and at times I will be sad for a few days thinking I wish I had spent more time with her, knowing her better but then I still say, what we had was wonderful and I really care for her and wish her and Paul the best in life. To my wonderful friends.... Paul and Natasha

Procrastinating

I know I have been procrastinating and thats no good. I have been having tooth problems as mentioned earlier and I finally had to go to Dar es Salaam to have my tooth fixed after an infection that would not go away much. Anyway I am still on that process of fixing it [my tooth], and I hope to have a sturdy set of whats left of my teeth.
I also have been busy with making cookies for the cafe and am slowly getting the knack of it.... I hope that manage to sell well as they did a few weeks ago. Have been a semi vegetarian for the last few months and I feel the weight falling off slowly, and I don't want it to be fast as all my skin will be loose and saggy.....!!!
I pretty much gather that I am on the right goal of getting to my life sorted out and much more then just having a pretty boyfriend or man around.
Hope to share more pictures with you on flickr...