I miss you all Natasha, Paul, Sarah, Sadiq, and soon it will be time for Nico to move on too.... here is a picture from the 4 of us.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
I don't know if I let on to you the last meal we had with Natasha, Paul, Nico and me... it was a long time and I miss our lunch dinner sessions. Somehow after that last lunch I have never had another of such kind of lunches or d
I miss you all Natasha, Paul, Sarah, Sadiq, and soon it will be time for Nico to move on too.... here is a picture from the 4 of us.
I miss you all Natasha, Paul, Sarah, Sadiq, and soon it will be time for Nico to move on too.... here is a picture from the 4 of us.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Can't say how much I have been away but I remember the last time I was talking about taking Zainab [Jenny] to Nairobi, Kenya and I was afraid of the riots there that had started post election and apparently we were supposed to leave on the 31st but by then I had not even packed my bags and so we called the bus service and asked then if we could move our tickets forward till things calmed down and lucky enough I knew this fella and he agreed . So on the 16th of January, I finally packed my bags and we were off to Dar and was confident to get on the bus and finally on the 18th we left for Nairobi. On reaching the border we had our passports stamped and one of the officers forgot to stamp Zainab's passport so we had to go running back and he said that in our chatting he over looked and forgot... seems out of reality at that point and so finally, we reached Nairobi at 10.00pm at night, having started at 7.00am that morning.
We were received by Zainab's [Jenny] friends and taken to our suburban cosy guest house [read -not hotel] and then the next day we went looking for the designated school and had Zainab enrolled, and that week had been buying , paying, reading, eating and waiting till I left Kenya on Friday the following week which was on Friday 29th of January and was back home on the Sunday that week.
On my journey to Nairobi, I saw a lot of things that made a difference to me and my life although I am not sure the same could be implied here in Tanzania where I live, but there, I saw that many locals spoke English and were quiet educated, and many of them were courteous although there is nothing liike 'Ahsante' [Thank-you] or 'Naomba' [Please may have], but they are learning and we are learning too.
such a big difference between the 2 countries and a lot of power struggle that it makes you wonder who is not corrupt in this world....?????
S
o as to speak/write, Zainab [Jenny] is well settled and is with a loving family and she goes to the college and is learning a lot of new things, I think and feel that she is responsible and does a lot of things that she would not have done, for example frying foodstuff, like eggs or eggybread would not have been her choice and now making tea on a stove is nothing new to her. I guess when we are with our parents or our parents home we tend to leave things on them or house help but when we go outside of our home we do things that we would not have done at home. And now that she is away, I miss her terribly and mum does too, although we keep silent about it but deep down in our hearts we know how much she means to us and how much she has enriched our lives all these years.
We call each other everyday and it's become a ritual to call her at night even it's for a a minute. I guess we move forward and and look for what the future has in store for us. The past has rich memories and wonderful experiences that teach us a lot in life learning and it's meaning.
My sister and me, Love you Jenny........
We were received by Zainab's [Jenny] friends and taken to our suburban cosy guest house [read -not hotel] and then the next day we went looking for the designated school and had Zainab enrolled, and that week had been buying , paying, reading, eating and waiting till I left Kenya on Friday the following week which was on Friday 29th of January and was back home on the Sunday that week.
On my journey to Nairobi, I saw a lot of things that made a difference to me and my life although I am not sure the same could be implied here in Tanzania where I live, but there, I saw that many locals spoke English and were quiet educated, and many of them were courteous although there is nothing liike 'Ahsante' [Thank-you] or 'Naomba' [Please may have], but they are learning and we are learning too.
such a big difference between the 2 countries and a lot of power struggle that it makes you wonder who is not corrupt in this world....?????
S
o as to speak/write, Zainab [Jenny] is well settled and is with a loving family and she goes to the college and is learning a lot of new things, I think and feel that she is responsible and does a lot of things that she would not have done, for example frying foodstuff, like eggs or eggybread would not have been her choice and now making tea on a stove is nothing new to her. I guess when we are with our parents or our parents home we tend to leave things on them or house help but when we go outside of our home we do things that we would not have done at home. And now that she is away, I miss her terribly and mum does too, although we keep silent about it but deep down in our hearts we know how much she means to us and how much she has enriched our lives all these years.
We call each other everyday and it's become a ritual to call her at night even it's for a a minute. I guess we move forward and and look for what the future has in store for us. The past has rich memories and wonderful experiences that teach us a lot in life learning and it's meaning.
My sister and me, Love you Jenny........
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Moods......
I am in a lousy mood and i feel really down and depressive. I don't know whats bothering me, and I gather I do not have a solution to this.
I hate myself all the time these days and feel like i have no hope for myself in the future. I did try some anti depressants last week and all they did was make me sleep and wake up with a sore head.
Why?............ that is the question Mr Shaffin...........
Well for some fun, I decided to photoshop myself and I look hilarious with hair on... see this and let me know, I couldn't be more gay then my pics LOL... here is the original thats me without hair, and see the photoshoped version....hoot !
I hate myself all the time these days and feel like i have no hope for myself in the future. I did try some anti depressants last week and all they did was make me sleep and wake up with a sore head.
Why?............ that is the question Mr Shaffin...........
Well for some fun, I decided to photoshop myself and I look hilarious with hair on... see this and let me know, I couldn't be more gay then my pics LOL... here is the original thats me without hair, and see the photoshoped version....hoot !
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Emotions
I was watching a movie the other day and it was a love story of sorts and suddenly I realized that I have forgotten how to love a loved one. I mean I was watching a movie but those emotions didn't stir anything in me and i was left wondering why?
I know that earlier this year when I decided that my priority would be my sister and her education and love and all that baggage that comes with it would be left on the side and not be concentrated on, I didn't know that I would shut myself off from loving... loving a lover that is and not a family love, like you love a sibling or a parent.
And suddenly I gather that I don't feel anything at all.... HA!! I know it's crazy but I feel like I can shut things out of my life if I want to, by just believing and concentrating hard enough that I do not want it or don't want to do a particular thing or vice versa....
On the other hand is it healthy for me to do that by cutting of emotions that make us all human and strong and because of those emotions we can overcome certain barriers in life and move on or suppress them and do crazy things???
At the moment, I am getting ready to embark on our journey to Zainab's destination for her college... I dread traveling and it reminds me of the time when I went with my brother to Arusha and it was a very long journey, I know I could fly but then it's twice expensive and at the moment I am trying to curb all the expenses and trying to save money.
I know that earlier this year when I decided that my priority would be my sister and her education and love and all that baggage that comes with it would be left on the side and not be concentrated on, I didn't know that I would shut myself off from loving... loving a lover that is and not a family love, like you love a sibling or a parent.
And suddenly I gather that I don't feel anything at all.... HA!! I know it's crazy but I feel like I can shut things out of my life if I want to, by just believing and concentrating hard enough that I do not want it or don't want to do a particular thing or vice versa....
On the other hand is it healthy for me to do that by cutting of emotions that make us all human and strong and because of those emotions we can overcome certain barriers in life and move on or suppress them and do crazy things???
At the moment, I am getting ready to embark on our journey to Zainab's destination for her college... I dread traveling and it reminds me of the time when I went with my brother to Arusha and it was a very long journey, I know I could fly but then it's twice expensive and at the moment I am trying to curb all the expenses and trying to save money.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Educating Zainab
well....time for an update, I gather I have been acting like my other blogging friends who write only once a month and they do, I, it seems have not blogged for more then a month and there is an excuse, laziness and procrastination.
Apparently I have been working on where to send my sister Zainab... she just finished her 'O' levels at the Iringa International School and so she wanted to do nursing and child care but just looking at the journals and medical books that she has to read and attend classes and make her own notes just makes her cringe, so she has a chance to do something different and I will be dropping her off at an academy where she can hone her art of making self beauty and all that stuff, and then she can decide what she wants, the other option is doing a diploma and a degree in art which she loves so all in all it is her choice and also she wants to do something with fashion, designing/management and business/consultancy... whatever the package is or comes with.
Tough as it may seem for me, my baby sister has grown up and ready to leave home. I guess she would have wasted her time if I had asked her to stay at home for a year, let her see the world and know how it is to stand on her own two feet.
By the way, we have a new kitten/cat, the last one got nicked by people who move up and down the alley which is a freeway for people using the bathroom at the end of the house...well outside the house. I mean customers and locals who have shops nearby. Why one couldn't ask is still a mystery to me, and why steal in the first place... a kitten for God's sake????
Some people will do anything HUH!!!!
Apparently I have been working on where to send my sister Zainab... she just finished her 'O' levels at the Iringa International School and so she wanted to do nursing and child care but just looking at the journals and medical books that she has to read and attend classes and make her own notes just makes her cringe, so she has a chance to do something different and I will be dropping her off at an academy where she can hone her art of making self beauty and all that stuff, and then she can decide what she wants, the other option is doing a diploma and a degree in art which she loves so all in all it is her choice and also she wants to do something with fashion, designing/management and business/consultancy... whatever the package is or comes with.
Tough as it may seem for me, my baby sister has grown up and ready to leave home. I guess she would have wasted her time if I had asked her to stay at home for a year, let her see the world and know how it is to stand on her own two feet.
By the way, we have a new kitten/cat, the last one got nicked by people who move up and down the alley which is a freeway for people using the bathroom at the end of the house...well outside the house. I mean customers and locals who have shops nearby. Why one couldn't ask is still a mystery to me, and why steal in the first place... a kitten for God's sake????
Some people will do anything HUH!!!!
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Happenings
By reading people's and friends blogs, I have just realised how much I miss blogging and writing about what I feel. This weekend I am taking Jenny to Dar es Salaam and introduce her to her special friend whom she met online and they have been friends for quiet sometime, and this is a litmus test for me to see how I react to this guy being friends with my lil kid sister, Apart from that its a small getaway for me before the month of celebrations starts all over again.... so many things to in so less a time.... there are a lot of things that I would like to achieve in life but I guess we all are not so successful as we want to be and though we aspire to be something and do something in life, there are always drawbacks which make not be able to go forward in life
Lately I have been so busy and am working hard and keeping my mind off on the one thing that I really like and want. I guess I don't have much time for that these days that is loving and wanting a companion, which is not on my top of the 'want' list at the moment......
Listening to Private dancer/ Tina Turner and wondering what we all do... do we all want money or do we strive for that perfect love ... hard to understand and know, what I exactly want at this point in my life. I gather my priorities are getting Jenny educated and settled in life.
Lately I have been so busy and am working hard and keeping my mind off on the one thing that I really like and want. I guess I don't have much time for that these days that is loving and wanting a companion, which is not on my top of the 'want' list at the moment......
Listening to Private dancer/ Tina Turner and wondering what we all do... do we all want money or do we strive for that perfect love ... hard to understand and know, what I exactly want at this point in my life. I gather my priorities are getting Jenny educated and settled in life.
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