A cake that I made over the weekend, the customer wanted it to be bollywoodish and kinda garish.... maybe it is or it isn't...
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Something I remembered.....
Well I was going through some thoughts on when I was small and how much I could remember and suddenly this image popped out of my mind or actually what happened that day,well part of it...
I was probably 4-5 and was in the neighbors house, a couple of houses down the street and as we were playing in my friends brother's room, my friend was called by her mom and I was left alone playing on the mattresses in the elder brother's room. Suddenly after a few mins, this brother walks in with a towel round his waist and just out from the shower, and wet and his body was great to look at and he probably was 16-18 at that point and handsome with a beard and long hair [70's style hair read:Bee Gees]. Anyway, he started to talk to me and make small talk, and then he suddenly tells me that I should show him my dick,???? Come on, I was 5 at that age and what did I know about my sexuality? Nothing and so I felt uncomfortable and so I refused and then he said he would show me his first and then I could show him mine... well that would have scarred my mind if had seen his large dick which was bulging slowly I bet, but I just told him I didn't want to and ran out of the room complaining to his parents and they just laughed told him off and told me to go home and say nothing. I felt that it was wrong at that point and time.
Now I don't know whether this guy was trying to abuse me and try to molest me at that age or was he turning into pedophile, I have no idea. I have not heard from him since the late 70's.
Coming to think of it, if I would have been older then it sure would have been the case of who was using whom. And by the way, his sister turned out to be a lesbian.... what a world and what a thing to be able to see that something like that happened and I told no one?
Hard to know what I was going through at that time but still I cannot shake the feeling of what would have happened if I did what he told me to do.... HUH!!!!!
Below is a picture of how old I was at that time... around that age I think....
I was probably 4-5 and was in the neighbors house, a couple of houses down the street and as we were playing in my friends brother's room, my friend was called by her mom and I was left alone playing on the mattresses in the elder brother's room. Suddenly after a few mins, this brother walks in with a towel round his waist and just out from the shower, and wet and his body was great to look at and he probably was 16-18 at that point and handsome with a beard and long hair [70's style hair read:Bee Gees]. Anyway, he started to talk to me and make small talk, and then he suddenly tells me that I should show him my dick,???? Come on, I was 5 at that age and what did I know about my sexuality? Nothing and so I felt uncomfortable and so I refused and then he said he would show me his first and then I could show him mine... well that would have scarred my mind if had seen his large dick which was bulging slowly I bet, but I just told him I didn't want to and ran out of the room complaining to his parents and they just laughed told him off and told me to go home and say nothing. I felt that it was wrong at that point and time.
Now I don't know whether this guy was trying to abuse me and try to molest me at that age or was he turning into pedophile, I have no idea. I have not heard from him since the late 70's.
Coming to think of it, if I would have been older then it sure would have been the case of who was using whom. And by the way, his sister turned out to be a lesbian.... what a world and what a thing to be able to see that something like that happened and I told no one?
Hard to know what I was going through at that time but still I cannot shake the feeling of what would have happened if I did what he told me to do.... HUH!!!!!
Below is a picture of how old I was at that time... around that age I think....
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Passing away...
Well I ought to say that I will miss hearing from one of my friends Mr. Abdul Nurali Mohamed, who passed away last month and it’s sad to know that I had no idea that he was suffering from cancer. As well know how this disease can make a person go down just by hearing it and it makes you feel like a looming death sentence.
I have learnt a lot by communicating with him and also he accepted me and my sexuality because one of his daughters is gay and he understood how she felt and what he as a parent had to go through and how his acceptance made it possible for her to be aware of her presence felt in the family.
I was hoping that I too, could one day write about how my parents accepted me but I guess that may never come. I am not sure if my mother knows or if my father knew? But all in all I wish it wasn’t a big taboo or an issue with me.
One of the things that I want to happen is acceptance of what I am and be able to talk freely about me and my issues and my sexuality as a whole. I cannot go like this at times and I usually hope that at some point I will be able to tell my closest ones about myself. Hard as it may seem there really is no choice here, or an alternate way out, knowing and understanding that I am still living in the family home and am with my mom and sister.
Hard eh… I bet that’s nothing then what others go through….which takes me back to losing my friend Abdul. He was a remarkable person and really fun to be with, a jolly man and an understanding form of father figure. I am sure his son and daughters miss him terribly and I feel the same as I will no longer be able to hear what he has to say or his lovely forwards.
Miss you Abdul…R.I.P
I have learnt a lot by communicating with him and also he accepted me and my sexuality because one of his daughters is gay and he understood how she felt and what he as a parent had to go through and how his acceptance made it possible for her to be aware of her presence felt in the family.
I was hoping that I too, could one day write about how my parents accepted me but I guess that may never come. I am not sure if my mother knows or if my father knew? But all in all I wish it wasn’t a big taboo or an issue with me.
One of the things that I want to happen is acceptance of what I am and be able to talk freely about me and my issues and my sexuality as a whole. I cannot go like this at times and I usually hope that at some point I will be able to tell my closest ones about myself. Hard as it may seem there really is no choice here, or an alternate way out, knowing and understanding that I am still living in the family home and am with my mom and sister.
Hard eh… I bet that’s nothing then what others go through….which takes me back to losing my friend Abdul. He was a remarkable person and really fun to be with, a jolly man and an understanding form of father figure. I am sure his son and daughters miss him terribly and I feel the same as I will no longer be able to hear what he has to say or his lovely forwards.
Miss you Abdul…R.I.P
Monday, February 2, 2009
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